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  • Writer's pictureDr. Vin

Sprouting Wings

Updated: Aug 17, 2020

The book is launched and I feel so free watching it take off from the nest of my lap (top) and finally fly on its own over hills and valleys, and into classrooms, board rooms, living rooms - or wherever it ends up in the hands of (hopefully) a reader who may glean some good tools for better listening or more effective expression.

I just unchained myself from the endless edits chair and now am sitting in a new chair - beginning promotion. But this I like, as I have always enjoyed showing up and performing, whether as a teacher, actor or speaker. I am excited to be working with a sharp publicist, who will strap wings on me and send me off to different venues in order to advertise my book.

I am mostly still exhaling and enjoying the fact that the book got done in the timeline allotted. We have a big group book launch on September 15th, the end date that was staring at me daily, as I trudged with my team through the final tasks needed to get the book done.

I do have a few thoughts that I want to share, mostly about some of what I learned on this journey to self-publish a book for a general audience. I learned that you have to find, hire and then manage so many people. There is the writing coach (optional), beta-readers (they work for free), reviewers (another freebie), copyeditor, (not to be confused with) the proofreader, the interior design team, publisher, graphic artist, a book cover designer and a public relations professional.

At one point a person I was thinking of hiring accused another I had hired of doing less than professional work, which sent the receiver of that message into an angry tirade defending herself. I felt like I was caught in the crossfire and had to get involved to cool people down and soothe hurt egos. I also was criticized (twice) so my own ego got bruised in the battle too.

How do you handle that? I don’t know. Maybe some poor sap should spend five years writing a book about communication, including handling conflict…Oh, that is right, I just did that! I licked my wounds, it stung for a few days, then I got over it and my confidence returned. I find that as long as I can share my pain with someone who is loving and supportive, I can get back on the horse and persevere. Once I got support and got over the shock, I weighed the criticism to see if it was constructive. Constructive criticism can help create a better product, whereas sometimes an opinion is just a difference in tastes and styles and one must stand up for one’s vision. As I rode my horse, I sorted out what criticism was productive and what to let fall away. Then I dismounted, patted Old Nellie, and smiled at myself for moving through conflict and coming out the other side, with a book I am proud of that now has wings of its own.

Communication Breakthrough: How Using Brain Science and Listening to Body Cues Can Transform Your Relationships

Is available on Amazon:


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